Mothers Day. The day society tells us we should receive flowers, chocolates, mugs, teddies, cards, cups of tea or breakfast in bed, goodness knows what else and for our kids (boyfriend/husband/partner) to completely spoil us for the day. Which all sounds lovely doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to wake up to that? How lucky are we?! A WHOLE day devoted to US!
But, that just isn’t the reality for a lot of women (including myself). Mothers Day can make you feel lonely, an alien to the ‘norm’, disheartened. Mothers Day when you’re a single parent is just another day. By no means am I moaning, or hating on all the mummies that do have lovely days, I’m just sharing the actuality for us single mums. I haven’t woken up today to a bunch of flowers, or a warm beverage in bed, or a meal booked or cooked for me.
But du know what I have learned over these past (almost) 4 years of single parenthood; it actually doesn’t matter. What matters is spending the day with my happy, healthy son who makes me smile in more ways than anybody or anything else could on this planet. No amount of gifts could ever make me happier than just being with Jax (and Albie – can’t forget him ahhah). Jaxson came back from his dads yesterday, and over dinner said “OH NO MAMA! Daddy didn’t buy you roses for Mothers Day! I’m so sorry!” And I just sat there and thought, how the hell did I get so lucky to have such an amazing, thoughtful little human in my life. I told him that it doesn’t matter, and what matters is that we are together, happy and love each other.
I know so many single mums that dread this day. Especially if it is their first one as a single parent. I know that first one is shit. Its so easy to think back to the ones before. It can make you feel sad and maybe even a bit jealous – especially as social media will be full of mothers sharing their day. And don’t worry if that’s you, you’re definitely not alone in that – thats a natural emotion to feel. But what has always got me through isn’t comparison, but contentment. Instead of letting it come round and feeling down in the dumps about it – make plans and look forward to it. Who cares if its you doing the cooking? Who cares if you book a meal and its just you and the kids? We’re all different and ‘family’ is different to every one of us. If your child(ren) is too young to buy or plan something for you, sure as hell they’ll show you how much you mean to them in other ways. Homemade cards, kisses, cuddles. I know what I’d rather receive on Mothers Day.
I think learning to be grateful, content and happy in adverse situations has definitely helped me get through things like Mothers Day and Valentines etc. I get this can take time and I’m sure that deep down longing for ‘the perfect family’ dynamic never really goes, but if you’re happy and cool with what you have, then you’ve got everything you need right with you. I loved waking up today with Jax by my side, Albie in a ball at our feet, having our family snuggles and Jax telling me I’m the best mummy he could ever have in his life. This is what Mothers Day is/should be about. Regardless of what society illustrates it ‘should’ be like, sod that off and focus on you and your bubba(s). Some women have woken up today without their littles, without their own mothers, and I can’t imagine how much they must hate today or the strength they need to get through it.
So don’t worry if you don’t get those £5 roses from CO-OP or the garage, or a milk tray or a mug with ‘Worlds Best Mum’ written on it. Don’t worry if its not the same as last year. You are the world’s best mum every single day raising your little human(s) on your own. You’re a real life superhero. We as single mums are beyond blessed to have our kids in our life and the chance to make memories with them every single day. Enjoy Mothers Day. Don’t be scared or worried about it. And if it is your first one, see it as an exciting experience to make new traditions or memories. Even if that does include locking yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes to relish in that hot beverage you’ve made yourself.
Big loves to all my fellow single mummies today. And of course any non-single mummies if you’re reading this. We all deserve an amazing day, however that looks for us <3
Love Jeorgia xxx