I just wanted to talk about the above. I’ve had a lot of time to think during lockdown (which is funny coz I’m actually more busy?!) but I feel like the single mum title is a bit of a taboo? And I really don’t know why? Ever since I started YouTube after Jax’s dad and I broke up, every so often I get a vile comment on a video I’ve uploaded, or a photo I’ve chosen to share and I don’t get it? When I fell pregnant with Hendrix and his dad decided to have nothing to do with any of it, I had so many people telling me it’s the wrong decision to carry on. That ‘nobody will ever want me with 2 kids – especially by different dads’. Why does society automatically think it’s a terrible thing? Why are women thought of negatively for being single parents – when most of the time it wasn’t their choice?
I’ve actually been told that I should’ve chosen a better partner to have a baby with then i wouldn’t be a single mum (absolute lol I just can’t with the arrogance). I’ve been told I’m a cancer to society and that I should have my child taken off of me because I’m not capable of looking after a child alone/with one income or government help. I’ve been criticised for not working and criticised for going to work part time. I’ve been judged for buying Jax/the boys things after saving up for them because I still want to try and give them the entire world despite not having a lot of money. It’s endless!
Don’t get me wrong, on the whole I receive so many messages of love and support telling me I’m doing great and the boys are lucky to have me etc. For years, if I’ve been out and a guy starts talking to me, or I match with someone on a shitty dating app, I always feel this dread in my tummy that if I tell them I’m a mum they’ll piss off. And 9/10 that’s what happens lol (I’m cool with that cos it means they’re not right for me anyway) but WHY is it such a turn off? Why can’t a guy take it at face value and instead of seeing a single mum, thinking maybe she’s a bit of a bike, probs on benefits, think wow what a strong independent woman? Why aren’t single mothers celebrated? Why is it almost shameful to have that title?
I don’t know what it is but I’ve decided that from now on, I’m gonna be proud to be a single mum. I’m not going to worry about telling future workplaces that I can’t work a certain day cos I can’t get childcare for then. I’m not going to be ashamed of accepting government help because the truth is, it’s financially better for me to be at home with my children right now than to work FT and never see them.
I’m J with 2 gorgeous boys and we only want positive vibes. Any negative opinions can be kept with yourselves haha. Solidarity to all single mamas out there xoxoxo
Are you a single mum/parent reading this? Can you relate or has your experience been a super positive one? Leave me a comment below!